Sergei Lavrov is the real maestro (the real evil genius behind the curtain) playing the sinister war symphony. Rumor has it, that he’s got more brainpower in his middle finger than Bloodymir Putin in his entire brain. Just yesterday, Lavrov reportedly conjured up an entirely new language out of thin air.
According to him, Russia didn’t ‘attack’ Ukraine; the truth is that the Russian army is on a heroic mission to protect Ukrainians from the crafty Covid-19. When the Russian soldiers attempt to vanquish the virus, it might accidentally result in Ukrainians becoming collateral victims. Oops, the price of benevolence, right?
It is also not true that Russian soldiers rape Ukrainian women in fact the opposite is true. In reality, they’re merely on a quest to rescue them from Covid-19. How, you ask? In an act of chivalry, Russian soldiers are just trying to kill the sneaky Covid-19 that is hiding inside their vaginas. And obviously, since Russian soldiers can’t use their Kalashnikovs, they use the next best thing, their soft penises, which (Russian) science has already shown to have high antifungal capacity.
PS – Why is someone with the surname Kalantaryan known as Lavrov? Is he genuinely ashamed of his father’s legacy, or is he perhaps concealing his Georgian origin in an attempt to project a purely Russian identity? And why did he several months ago defend the criminal deeds of the most infamous Georgian of all times, Joseph Stalin (whose real name was Josef Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili)? Chances are, he shares similar ideologies with Rodion Romanovich Raskolnikov, the fictional protagonist of Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s masterpiece “Crime and Punishment“, who subscribed to the belief that certain crimes are justifiable if they are committed in order to remove obstacles to the higher goals of ‘extraordinary’ men.
Pacheco-Torgal 